Earthman's Notebook

I somehow got onto a right-wing Christian mailing list. Without fail, EVERY email they send me is both amusing and disturbing. That they’re so wrong, but so earnest, is funny. That they’re enticing others to be so wrong and earnest, that’s disturbing.

The latest was an Action Alert! from the stick-up-the-backside “American Family Association”:

“Pepsi Produces Another TV Ad Promoting the Gay Lifestyle”

Yes, the “gay lifestyle.” The lifestyle that people choose, and then recruit others into, so they can all be evil and debauched together, and get people to hate them. All done deliberately, you understand, and in opposition to good traditional American Christian values.

And yes, Pepsi is saying “Be Gay!! Everybody drink Pepsi and engage in homosexual activity!! Don’t be like all those heterosexuals who drink Coke!” What better publicity campaign could you get?

I had to respond to the part that said “Sign the Boycott Pepsi Pledge.”

Read the rest…

I’m chuckling, but in a grim way.

I get these emails from something called Worldview Weekend, a Christianist organization that sees a plot to murder God – and white people – in every shadow. I signed up in  a weak moment a year or so back, just to keep tabs on what they’re selling.

Some of the lines from this week’s plate of steaming neo-con Jesus (I confess I added all the exclamation marks, just because it seems funnier that way):

Liberals to Spend $1 Trillion And Can Not Say it Will Produce One Job!!!

Uh, hello? How many net jobs were created by the several trillion that Bush spent?

Distracting and Destroying the Middle Class, by Brannon Howse

Read the rest…

Bye, Mr. Bush.

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Don’t let the White House door hit you in the ass on your way out.

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I’m starting the rumor that President Bush plans to go back to Crawford, Texas and open a tire store, “Presidential Tires — Where the Rubber Meets the Rode” (sic), or possibly a small roadside barbecue stand, “Leader of the Free World Bar-B-Q.”

You heard it first, right here.

No, seriously. Undisclosed Capitol Hill sources have revealed that Bush will return to his ranch, which he has now successfully cleared of brush after 8 years in the White House, and will trade on his nationally-recognized name to launch a private business venture.

“I’m going to show everyone that my success in Washington, D.C., was no fluke,” said Bush. “This will pin down my legacy as the 43rd President of the United States with a commercial triumph in the field of rubber, or possibly barbecue.  I expect my venture here in Crawford to become a national chain, or maybe even worldwide.”

[Photo: Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson listens as President Bush (man in gray suit on right) speaks about his upcoming venture into barbecue, or possibly tires.]

Good things are happening right now: The news media has finally, finally, FINALLY grown a set, and is asking the McCain and Palin camp some hard questions, and demanding answers.

For Palin, the shit just keeps flowin’ on down. I can’t believe the kind of stuff I’m reading about her, on a daily basis.

McCain and his “soul mate” are goin’ down hard.

And oh, yeah, Palin’s post-election political career in Alaska? Toast. Even a conservative speaking career may be out. Conservatives will wake up on Nov. 12 and find themselves in bed with the ultimate Coyote Date, and will chew their own arms off to get away from her.

Read the rest…

I don’t know why I haven’t heard more about the “Cone of Silence.” I chuckle every time I think of John McCain sitting under it in a room by himself. 

It brings to mind THIS.

I can just all-too-easily picture McCain under there when the hostess comes in to tell him it’s his turn to go on stage for his interview. He sits there going “What? … What?” in a bewildered Maxwell Smart voice.

In fact the more I think of it, the more I’m convinced that John McCain IS Maxwell Smart.

Let the meme go forth.

You may be aware that PZ Myers has come to the attention of the Catholic League (“For Religious and Civil Rights”), for lightheartedly offering to “desecrate” a communion wafer, if someone would send him one.

The shriekers are out in force, apparently, and Dr. Myers has asked for a pushback from the secular community. I encourage every good-hearted person of intelligence to pitch in.

Here’s my effort, a letter to the President of the University of Minnesota: 

President Robert H. Bruininks
202 Morrill Hall
100 Church Street S.E.
University of Minnesota
Minneapolis, MN 55455

Read the rest…

I just yesterday finally bit the bullet and learned how RSS works. Damn! Why didn’t somebody TELL me!?

Now I have all my favorite sites in a Bloglines feed. I click on ONE link in the morning to check everything, rather than a dozen or more, and I can skip the sites with no recent updates. Wonderful!

If I get really daring, I’m thinking of trying out those incandescent indoor light thingies. I hate it that I have to stop work when the sun goes down, and the torches are just so smoky.

Manny the Mammoth, talking about Sid the Sloth, Ice Age 2:

He’s not my kid! He’s not even my dog! If I had a dog and my dog had a kid, and the dog’s kid had a pet, that would be Sid.

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[Afternote: I looked up the history of Crayola on Wikipedia, and I've misremembered some of this. The 96-box came along well after I was in first grade. It was the 64-box I recall. I'll correct it in a day or so. Meanwhile, here's the original piece.]

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You ever have the experience of finding something in your head you didn’t know was there?

I just had one of those moments. I’m not totally surprised to find it there — it’s based on a memory, after all. But it’s a leftover from, oh, about the age of 5 or so, and at my current age of 55, it’s just curious to find it still in there somewhere.

It has to do with how I felt about Crayola crayons. And the memory bubbled up at this bit on the ColourLovers site: All 120 Crayon Names, Color Codes and Fun Facts.

You remember when you were a kid how much you loved your Crayolas? You could do anything with those great colors. I wasn’t much of an artist when it came to creating original works on blank coloring paper, but I was pretty good at picking realistic colors to fill in pictures in coloring books.

Read the rest…